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Shawn Paul Wood
Website | + posts

Something about me? I have been a nerdy cinephile for as long as I can remember. Putting the two together is living my best life. That notwithstanding, I was born to express, not to impress, so I blog because I don't have friends. In other news, I like hashtags because they look like waffles, prefer my puns intended, and I always give 100% unless I'm donating blood. Thanks for reading.

Amazon Studios has used a spell from Gandalf’s bag of tricks for The Rings of Powerno negative reviews shall pass!

Why? As a report in Forbes reads (yes, Forbes even wrote about this fanboying prepubescence), “The Rings of Power is getting slammed essentially everywhere that accepts fan reviews.” This onslaught of dork bravado has forced Amazon to disable fan reviews of the series entirely.

Typically, there would be a question of ethics here as Amazon is, in essence, hiding bad reviews. A negative review that is objective is one thing. Someone didn’t like a product, so they use data and trends to mold an open opinion. Yet, that’s not what is happening here.

The art of barraging a review site with one movie or series in the crosshairs is known as “review bombing.” And the practice is a steaming bag of crap that was lit on fire and placed at the front door of Amazon Studios.

‘The Rings of Power’ Needs a Shaft of White Light

The Rings of Power are being pelted by review bombing proving that nerds can suck so bad.
Source: Rotten Tomatoes, where else?!

If you have seen either episode of The Rings of Power, hold that thought because you may have contributed to the reason for this post and news story. Just wait. You’ll see.

JRR Tolkien was the mesmerizing force behind Middle Earth. He had visions on the battlefield, used his wife as inspiration, and needed a place far away to feel secure. He wrote The Lord of the Rings. The story was a labor of love as it took him 12 years to write and another five to publish.

He finished, and the rest is, quite literally, history.

Only one thing doesn’t add up about Tolkien’s creative process and the trolls behind this review bombing of today. He was born in 1892 and had those visions during World War I. Tolkien died in 1972, but you’d swear these open-mouthed and closed-minded fools played Gin Rummy or Pickleball with the man last week.

These “fans” have hurled a non-stop siege of ridicule and slander against The Rings of Power. Such an affront that you’d think Jeff Bezos made fun of their mothers. You can tell who one of these trolls are by the way their “critiques” are phrased. Comments like “Well, that’s not what Tolkien meant” or “Tolkien would be rolling in his grave if he saw The Rings of Power.”

And the rest of us trying to enjoy the new series sit here, roll our eyes, and get lumped in with the whole of those dolts. Here’s why:

  • Rotten Tomatoes: Critics score The Rings of Power an 84. Fans? 36
  • IMDB: The review an 8.5, until trolls showed up. Now, it’s a 6.9. (P.S. Amazon owns IMDB)
  • Letterboxd: There are 13 pages of reviews, and 14% of them gave the series 1 star.
  • Metacritic: The pros gave The Rings of Power a 71. Fans? 2.4! No, that’s not an errant decimal point.

See a trend here? So did Amazon Studios, which is why we’re here today.

LoTR v. TRoP

That’s not Balrog. It’s Jeff Bezos when he saw what trolls were doing.
(Credit: Peter Field via Amazon Studios/New Line Cinema)

Typically, production studios welcome the idea of fans’ critiquing a movie or T.V. show. It’s their opportunity to see how well the project is resonating among fans in theaters or at home. But, this review bombing crowd redefine what it means to be “toxic.”

You see, critics come in one of three forms:

  • Professional — These are the folks whose career is steeped in the tradition of examining a movie or T.V. show for its merit, storytelling, acting, and overall appeal
  • Amateur — Out of the sundry entertainment blogs on the Interwebz, many have a couple of people who are working to become a professional critic, and their solid, objective reviews prove that
  • Armchair Critic— There is more subjectivity in these reviews, with fans sharing what’s on their mind

At no surprise to many fandoms out there, there is now a fourth form of critics–those damn trolls. These folks represent what sucks about a collective group of [insert your genre or franchise here]. Ask around who has the worst fandoms and mostly, nerd groups will stand out.

Trekkies, The Dark Side, MCU, DCEU. They all have a salty–and often, earned–reputation because the twits in it each ruin the experience for everyone else. How? Would you like to leave a fan review about The Rings of Power? Tough! They ruined that too.

When Amazon Studios has released its billion-dollar empire The Rings of Power, there was anxious joy. It was so eagerly anticipated that the series premiere on Prime Video welcomed 25 million viewers in the first 24 hours. It has been celebrated and revered by the first three groups. Many love the direction of where it’s going, even though they’ve admitted it’s not there yet. Others have noted minor issues but enjoy the series.

On With the Show, Maybe

Even IMDB is victim of review bombing with The Rings of Power
This is what we call “polarizing.”

That brings us to these pseudo-Tolkienites who have pummeled review sites with such lopsided and vitriolic commentary that Amazon Studios took power back into their hands. Claims span the gamut of emotion and common sense across all the aforementioned review sites.

  • The Rings of Power is an insult to the great books and movies (1/2 star)
  • This show is trying to destroy a masterpiece. Do not waste your time with this; go for the books of the LOTR trilogy (0 rating)
  • Not staying true to the lore is a huge disappointment; nothing drags you in (1/2 star)
  • This is not LOTR. Go away with your political agenda (0 rating)
  • Cultural theft by a corporation. The actors sold their souls, and the fans could see straight through it. Absolute trash series that spits on Tolkien (1 rating)

There are more scathing reviews clamoring for LGBT agendas, woke harfoots, racism in reverse (yeah, I laughed at that one too), and overall “shameful and boring” diatribes.

The moral of the story is this: If you have an opinion, make it count. Yes, the studios rarely care what fans have to say, but this review bombing is why! The series is majestic to behold. And while it has been slow out of the gate, there should be little doubt that The Rings of Power will be in full stride soon.

If you remember, The Fellowship of the Ring even stumbled for the first 30 minutes. Sure, living in the Shire was almost utopian with all these bigfooted, rotund people. But damn, if Frodo’s journey didn’t need to happen quickly. Review bombing wasn’t concerned with Peter Jackson’s triumphant trilogy because when it finally gained traction, it didn’t stop! For The Rings of Power, folk just gave up and went back to watching Jerry Springer.

Here’s a thought: Do what your mama taught you, “If you can’t say anything nice, don’t say anything.” I know the rest of us would appreciate that. Besides, most of you troglodytes can’t spell anyway. From what I can see, when it came to taking spelling and grammar tests, you did not pass there either.

Shawn Paul Wood
Website | + posts

Something about me? I have been a nerdy cinephile for as long as I can remember. Putting the two together is living my best life. That notwithstanding, I was born to express, not to impress, so I blog because I don't have friends. In other news, I like hashtags because they look like waffles, prefer my puns intended, and I always give 100% unless I'm donating blood. Thanks for reading.

Shawn Paul Wood

About Shawn Paul Wood

Something about me? I have been a nerdy cinephile for as long as I can remember. Putting the two together is living my best life. That notwithstanding, I was born to express, not to impress, so I blog because I don't have friends. In other news, I like hashtags because they look like waffles, prefer my puns intended, and I always give 100% unless I'm donating blood. Thanks for reading.

View all posts by Shawn Paul Wood

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