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Sometimes I write things, but mostly I watch movies.
Madame Web is the latest entry in Sony’s Spider-Man Universe (or SSU)—though how much of a universe it is very unclear after this. Madame Web has no connections to either Venom or Morbius but has some of the most direct connections to the character, Spider-Man, and as a result, it feels like a redheaded stepchild in an already dysfunctional family. Still, amidst this sea of terrible, there are some glimmers of good in it.
Minor spoilers ahead.
A Whole Mess
The negative aspects comprise most of the movie honestly. The script is full of hamfisted dialogue and constantly full of clunky exposition; the characters are pretty much paper-thin; and there are so many weird cuts and other editing choices. There is a scene where the camera zooms in and out on the characters likely to build tension, but it serves to take you out of the film. That isn’t to mention this movie constantly steps around directly mentioning its connection to the larger Spider-Man mythos. There are plenty of jokes around Ben (Adam Scott) being an Uncle and they carefully avoid saying the surname, Parker. It’s enough to make you believe you’re watching a fan film that couldn’t quite secure all the rights they wanted.
The main characters don’t have much development; the trio of Julia (Sydney Sweeney), Mattie (Celeste O’Connor), and Anya (Isabela Merced) just get along better because that’s what the movie calls for. Cassandra (Dakota Johnson) similarly gets mastery over her abilities because that’s what the script demands. Nothing is earned; things happen because the movie needs them to happen.
The pacing is atrocious as well; at one point Cassandra just takes a detour to Peru leaving behind the main plot so she can get some answers about her past. The flow of the movie is completely thrown off and this whole section feels like a completely different movie. It also features a very clear rip-off of Doctor Strange’s take on astral projection.
However, the worst part of this movie though is the villain, Ezekiel Sims (Tahar Rahim). Sims has no reason to be evil other than just to be evil; he is given zero backstory and just has no screen presence. There are villains in ’80s cartoons with more depth and menace than in Sims. Adding to all this is the fact that almost all of Sims’ dialogue has been redone in ADR. Most of his lines are delivered either with his back facing the camera or when he’s off-screen, and when he is on screen, rarely does the dialogue match with the movement of his mouth. It is baffling.
Madame Web‘s Solid Leads
While the villain may want to make you question your hearing, the one major strength of this movie is the principal cast. Johnson, Sweeney, O’Connor, and Merced are a lot of fun to watch. Madame Web works better when the four of them are together. You do want them to succeed, despite the film providing no real reasons to root for them and they have some truly awful material to work with. Nonetheless, they mostly make it bearable.
In particular, Merced and O’Connor are the standouts and make some of the terrible jokes land. Johnson is a fine lead, managing to make Cassie feel at least somewhat like an actual character despite not having any depth. However, anytime it’s Johnson on her own, it’s dull and mostly lifeless. Sweeney, unfortunately, is given the least to do but she works well within the larger group dynamic.
Adam Scott, though barely in the movie, is a delight to watch. He just has a natural charisma on screen and improves every scene he is in. If you are not a major nerd or do not pay attention to the credits, then it may be difficult to realize he’s meant to be playing the Uncle Ben.
Unique-ish
Madame Web is also unique in terms of superhero movies. There is practically zero costumed crime-fighting; in fact, the character who wears a costume the most is Ezekiel Sims. Why Sims has a costume isn’t clear, nevertheless, he’s the only one suited for most of the runtime. The heroes are mostly on the run from the villain and it functions more like a chase and thriller movie. Unfortunately, the movie does fall into the trap of having a big CG-filled third-act fight between the hero and the villain with lots of explosions. Cassandra gets an unearned power-up and beats the bad guy.
Final Thoughts on Madame Web
Ultimately, Madame Web is not a good movie but it manages to be somewhat entertaining thanks to its baffling choices that will leave you wondering how this movie got approved. It also has a mostly enjoyable cast doing the best with what they have. It feels like a superhero movie made in a pre-Marvel Cinematic Universe world and perhaps it should have been left there.
Madame Web is now playing in theaters!
Rating: 2/5 stars
Sometimes I write things, but mostly I watch movies.
This article was edited by John Tangalin.