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Sometimes I write things, but mostly I watch movies.
What if Mickey Mouse was an evil serial killer? I Heart Willie seeks to answer this question, following in the footsteps of so many other public-domain characters turned slasher villain films. Directed by Alejandro G. Alegre and written by David Vaughn, I Heart Willie follows a group of YouTubers investigating a local legend. I Heart Willie‘s synopsis is as follows.
Popular YouTubers Daniel and Nico are invited to investigate a haunted property drawn by rumors of a malevolent force. The legend centers around a boy born with deformities, resembling a human-mouse hybrid, who inspired Walt Disney’s Steamboat Willie. Abused and isolated, the boy, now known as Willie, crafts a bodysuit from the skins of trespassers. Over the years, his gruesome legacy fades into folklore—until a series of disappearances sparks renewed interest. As Daniel and Nico set up for a night of thrills, they unknowingly step into a deadly game of survival.
Hewes Pictures
As a concept, I cannot say that it is particularly exciting, but I love a good (or in many cases, trashy) slasher so I was willing to give I Heart Willie a chance. However, this film is a failure on almost every level. Its characters are flat and unlikeable, the violence is lacking, the scares are nonexistent, and the movie simply doesn’t have anything to say.
I Heart Willie stars David Vaugn as the titular Willie, Maya Luna as Nora, Sergio Regalto as Daniel, Micho Camacho as Nico, and Daniela Porras as Jess.
Unlikable Characters, Unsatisfying Kills
Look, I get that in slashers, the characters are rarely all that likable. That’s part of the fun, that is, getting to participate in the schadenfreude of some annoying guy getting what’s coming to them in the form of a gory and awesome death. Yet, usually, there are one or two people that you root for to make it out. I Heart Willie doesn’t have any of that.
I’m not going to besmirch the performances too much because the cast is mostly local actors doing their best with practically non-existent material. Also, it’s very much in the tradition for slashers to have less-than-stellar acting. For instance, take the Terrifier franchise—the acting there is very much nothing to write home about, but Lauren LaVera’s Sienna Shaw has a spark to her. There’s a realness to that character that makes it easy to connect with her and root for her.
However, all four protagonists in I Heart Willie are just so annoying. Everything that comes out of their mouth is the most boring and generic dialogue imaginable. Daniel and Jess are probably the worst offenders. Nothing about them is fun to watch as they constantly complain about whatever is happening. Nico and Nora are somewhat more tolerable. Still, Nico is just a nothing of a character; and Nora is meant to be a typical final girl, and while there’s more to her than meets the eye, she is similarly vapid.
None of these characters exhibit any mildly redeeming characteristics. This would be fine, if they were at all entertaining…but they aren’t. They all just fit into boring and played-out archetypes. The only one who sort of breaks the mold is Nora, but even then, the way she is handled is clunky and unearned.
Bored to Death
Even the titular Willie himself is unengaging. Despite giving decent physicality to the role, Willie is just unremarkable. Take away the Mickey Mouse look, and nothing distinguishes him from a million other slasher villains.
This leads to another massive flaw in this film: it’s not scary. Now, what constitutes “scary” and even if a horror film should be “scary” is another matter entirely. However, in a slasher, there needs to be some degree of tension. Usually, this tension rises from waiting to see how characters bite the bullet. But as I mentioned before, there’s no reason to care about the characters of I Heart Willie. So, in cases like that, you often rely on the villain to be entertaining and scary.
Willie isn’t scary. Most of the runtime consists of what feels like him just standing around. That can work—the original Halloween is so effective because you are left wondering when Michael will go off. By comparison, Willie is rarely in the presence of our characters, and when he is a lot of the violence is off-screen. Again, this is something that can work when done effectively. It’s not done effectively here; the film seems to want to give you blood splatters and gore while also not showing any of it. It evokes Terrifier and Halloween, and it needs to just pick a lane.
To top it all off, Willie’s backstory is just so goofy that it’s hard to take him seriously. The movie doesn’t explain a whole lot, but when it does, it is just nonsensical and eye-roll-inducing. It’s seemingly taken all the worst lessons from the worst slasher films.
Lack of Commentary
This leads to my final point: there’s no social commentary here. Traditionally, slasher films are bottom of the barrel, even for horror. However, the good ones usually have some sort of social commentary at their core. Now, the idea of a corporate mascot as a slasher villain is to put mildly not good. There is some juice to it—the idea that these corporations literally kill people in order to support themselves is something worth exploring in the horror space. Yet, I Heart Willie goes for the bare minimum and just slots a Mickey Mouse-looking killer into a generic slasher plot. The movie gives some vague platitudes about the nature of evil without saying anything. It’s boring; it’s bad; it’s creatively bankrupt.
If anything, this film speaks to a lack of imagination and risk-taking in the film space. It poses the question: if a small indie production is just resorting to generic and cheap slashers, then what are we doing at the studio level? If we continue to just recycle old ideas, then where will/would our culture be?
Maybe I’m ragging too hard on this little indie film. I do give them credit for this movie not looking or sounding terrible with such a small budget. Although, it can be somewhat of a microcosm for larger issues happening in the film industry and society at large. Ultimately, this film is just devoid of any ideas, and the execution of it all is lacking.
The Verdict on I Heart Willie
I Heart Willie coasts on the idea that audiences will want to see a beloved childhood character and corporate icon turned into a monstrous serial killer and think that’s good enough to sustain a film. It fails to provide any real commentary on the idea that these corporate mascots are tools for evil for massive corporations. It doesn’t even provide gruesome or fun enough kills to be a worthwhile slasher.
Score: 1/5
I Heart Willie comes to theaters tomorrow, February 26th, for one night only and will be made available on video-on-demand later!
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Sometimes I write things, but mostly I watch movies.
